I am an author, counselor, and ADHD expert.  That qualifies me to provide you with useful and non-useful information on this blog. 

 

I have a Ph.D. in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida.  I have four degrees from the University of Florida, which means that I have invested a lot of time and money into the Gator Nation.  I think I should have a building named after me by now. 

 

My dogs threaten to walk out if I do not post blog entries about them on a regular basis.  They have already threatened to tell all of their doggie friends that I give them cheap dog treats (I give them Puparoni – don’t let them tell you anything different).

 

I know enough French, Spanish, German, Yiddish, and Russian to get myself into trouble.  Do not ask me to speak these languages with you, as I am likely to accidentally say something that will result in you stomping away with disgust.  If you would like to have a conversation in Russian about Ivan Ivanovich who lives in apartment number 3 with his wife, Anna Petrovna, and their son Maxim, I’m your girl.

 

If you’re wondering how a nice Protestant girl knows a copious amount of Yiddish, I lived in Milwaukee until I was 10.  Enough said. Milwaukee also taught me that cooking bratwurst in anything other than beer is sacrilege.

 

My dogs know French, Persian, and German.  This sounds impressive, but they will learn any language as long as it is connected to a dog biscuit. 

 

My brother is 6′4″.  I am 5′4″.  We have the same parents.   I think my height genes mutated.

 I don’t like shopping.  I think I may be only one of a handful of women on Earth that does not enjoy shopping.  I  recently watched an interview with Jodie Foster, who described shopping as tantamount to “having hot pokers stuck in my eyes.”  I don’t dislike shopping that much.  I have hated shopping since I was a small child.  Ask my mother. 

 

However, I do enjoy perusing online shopping. It’s like window shopping, only I don’t have to get dressed up.  And I don’t have to drive anywhere. 

 

 I prefer to live directly across from where I work.  I am allergic to traffic.   I’m one of the .0001% of humans that actually enjoys flying.  I think turbulence is fun.  Except when I’m in the prop plane from Gainesville to Atlanta.  I schedule my Atlanta flights around jet service availability.

 

 I skipped first grade.  Don’t ask me what I missed.  I wasn’t there.  I’m assuming there was some instruction about adding whole numbers, since that part of my brain is now reserved for useless trivia.   

 

 I’m German, English, and Scottish. This means that I am efficient and organized, but not both at the same time.

 

 When I am at a party and don’t want to disclose that I am a psychotherapist, I tell people I am an alligator wrestler.  Some people have actually believed this.  They may have been just humoring me.